What are your thoughts on Ebola?

State your thoughts on the outbreak of Ebola here.

(http://www.cdc.gov/vhf/ebola/modules/flexslider/about-ebola.jpg)

For more info on Ebola...

1. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-28755033

2. http://www.cdc.gov/vhf/ebola/

Cancer for Dinner

By Tom Radzienda
 


Dr. Virginia Livingston-Wheeler explains in The Conquest of Cancer that the potential for chickens to have cancer is nearly 100%. This is not exactly a good gamble next time you're nibbling on a deep fried chicken wing. Do the animals that you eat have cancer? Would you still eat them if you found out how sick they were when they were slaughtered? Institutes around the world are spending millions of dollars searching for the cure to cancer. This is admirable, but it doesn't seem like anybody is looking at the very dinner plate in front of them for the obvious cause of many cancers afflicting society today.
To maximize profit, industrial food factories crowd animals together in stuffy cages with little fresh air and sunshine. Living under such crowded conditions causes intense stress as well as the potential for rampant disease. It's a very sad irony that the foregoing description sounds uncomfortably similar to the working conditions of your average office worker laboring so hard every day just to earn enough money to pay for insurance or medical bills.
Animals are routinely fed antibiotics by the ton to minimize economic losses due to disease. Keep in mind that the drugs are used to treat all animals, not only those that are sick. Antibiotics are used to protect the livestock corporation's investment by keeping the animals alive long enough to get them to slaughter. What happens to those chemicals once they are ingested by cows, pigs or chickens? Do these hormones affect the people who eat those dead animals? Which diseases are linked to consumption of these chemicals? An even scarier scenario is that a great deal of bacteria has now become drug resistant because of the overuse of antibiotics in factory farmed animals. The massive use of antibiotics and chemical fertilizers also wind up in our water supply. Microorganisms that have developed resistance to all antibiotics can lead to epidemic disease in humans and animals. How many global scares have we had in the last ten years concerning pigs, poultry and cows?
I'm curious how much profit is generated by the manufacture and sale of vaccines to fight those diseases. Is this enough to make you suspicious if maybe something is wrong with eating meat generously spiced with antibiotics? Would you like go one step further into a process that is largely hidden from the public eye?
Animal Slaughter
Even if all animal products were indeed clean, safe and free from chemicals, the animals must still be slaughtered to bring them to market. Is that something you could do yourself? Could you bring a knife to the throat of a cow or pig? Would you commit this murder in front of a seven year old child? Could you chop off the head of a chicken or turkey? Have you ever seen this happen in real life or seen it on film? Do you even want to see such violence? Do humans even have a right to do this to animals? Do humans have a responsibility to the earth and other living beings to be humane, ethical and respectful of life? I cannot answer all of these questions for anybody. All I can do is ask you to ask yourself.
Yes, let me be the first one to tell you that if you ate any chicken or beef today, somebody, somewhere, had to kill that animal to bring it to your plate. How humanely are the animals slaughtered? Are they gently given a shot to let them peacefully go to sleep, or are they hung up mercilessly from the rafters of the factory? Are their throats slit and their blood allowed to drain all over the floor while they are still alive? Do you know the source and conditions of the slaughterhouse where your meat is processed? Many people say they enjoy a good steak; what if they used different language and said, I like to eat dead cow. It doesn't sound quite as appetizing when we call it what it is.
If this isn't enough, the animals are butchered, cancerous parts included, and the meat is dyed to keep it looking fresh, covered with preservatives to facilitate transport and appear fresh and tasty in your local market. What happens to the preservatives and colorings that are put in every meal? Like all of the other hormones, antibiotics and chemicals, the preservatives and colorings are a substantial part of your diet. All of these concerns directly impact your personal health and the health of those you love. I hope you are beginning to understand why it is incumbent on us to evaluate all these unpleasant points in a life that focuses on personal development.
This article has been adapted from my book, "Personal Transformation through Reiki." It is available at: http://www.amazon.com/Personal-Transformation-through-Reiki-Radzienda/dp/616321420X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1361883358&sr=8-2&keywords=personal+transformation+through+reiki
To learn more about Rei-ki healing and training in Thailand, please visit my website at:
http://sites.google.com/site/studyreikiinbangkokthailand/Home
Best wishes,
Tom
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tom_Radzienda
http://EzineArticles.com/?Cancer-for-Dinner&id=8813611

Transcendence: GOD or AI?

By: Dan Bulatek

In philosophy, the adjective transcendental and the noun transcendence convey the basic ground concept from the word's literal meaning (from Latin), of climbing or going beyond, albeit with varying connotations in its different historical and cultural stages. (Wikipedia.com)

This word caught my interest the other day as I sat enthralled watching the movie Transcendence. In my mind I see a difference between the divine and AI but then I think it depends on how one defines the word divine. Dose it mean religion, GOD, a higher sense of self or being? Or does it mean simply going beyond what is human in some way, form or fashion?

Here’s the premise of the movie: A brilliant scientist named Will (Johnny Depp) is shot when a carefully-orchestrated protest targets computer labs across the country. Although his prognosis is good, he falls ill. The bullet that hit him was laced with a radioactive substance and he succumbs to radiation poisoning. (http://www.newportthisweek.com/news/2014-04-24/Around_Town/Transcendence_Stirs_Debate.html)

His wife, Evelyn (Rebecca Hall), doesn’t want to let him die completely, so she uploads his thoughts, memories, and personality into their A.I. system. He reforms and seems to come back as an image on a computer screen. Their research partner Martin (Clifton Collins Jr.) insists that what Evelyn (Eve?) sees cannot possibly be Will. It is a facsimile, and we all know that copies aren’t quite the same as the originals. Science says matter cannot be destroyed, but it can be changed. However, once changed, is any matter, especially a human being, the same as it was? (http://www.newportthisweek.com/news/2014-04-24/Around_Town/Transcendence_Stirs_Debate.html)

So what are your thoughts? Can divinity be reached through technology or can only GOD claim the right and the ability to let such things happen?

Emma Watson's "HeforShe" Speech as UN Women Goodwill Ambassador from UN Women

Bitter Root, Bitter Fruit

By: Glen Warren/Fathers Forever

Original Article Source - http://www.achatandchew.com/?p=268

“The root of bitterness is hard to ‘pluck up’ because we feel justified in our feelings; after all, we were wronged.” Glen Warren, Sr.



I grew up on a farm where most of our food was “home-grown”. We always had a large garden, where various vegetables were planted; we ate some and canned the rest for the winter months. My father would always have a special place, in the garden, where he planted watermelons for us. We all loved to eat watermelons, including my father.

After the watermelon seed was planted, it would take a few weeks before we could see any growth. We couldn’t see the roots nevertheless, it was still growing. Then one day, we would begin to see the vine sprouting up, just above the ground, and we were very happy because the watermelons would soon follow. A few more weeks on the vine and little watermelons would be visible; in just a few more weeks, the watermelons would be ripe enough to pull and cut. And our taste-buds would be ready!

When a seed is planted in the right soil, it will take root; with water and sunlight, it will grow and eventually become ripe fruit. We all understand that principle. The same principle applies, when a seed is planted in our hearts; it will take root and grow to become ripe fruit, as well.



Bitterness is sometimes a seed that has been planted in the soil of our hearts, as result of the actions of others, or a bad experience in our lives. We can’t see the root, but it’s there growing and as we dwell on (feed and water) those hurt feelings, in a few days, or a few weeks, or a few months, or even a few years, people will see the fruit of bitterness in us, in the form of anger, malice, resentment and sometimes even hate, just to name a few.

In his book, Lee: the Last Years, Charles Flood reports that after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a Kentucky lady who took him to the remains of a grand old tree in front of her house. There she bitterly cried that its limbs and trunk had been destroyed by Federal artillery fire. She looked to Lee for a word condemning the North or at least sympathizing with her loss. After a brief silence, Lee said, “Cut it down, my dear Madam, and forget it.” It is better to forgive the injustices of the past, rather than let them remain; allowing bitterness to take root and poison the rest of our life. It’s not possible to go through life without being hurt by someone and what’s frustrating is that when we have been hurt, the person who caused it goes on as though they’ve done nothing wrong. Often times, they don’t even apologize and seem to suffer no ill consequences for their actions, the result is bitterness. “The root of bitterness is hard to pluck up because we feel justified in our feelings; after all, we were wronged.”

Another story is told of a very bitter woman, who was bitten by a rabid raccoon. Tests were performed and the doctor concluded and informed her that she had rabies. She then got a notebook and began writing down names. The doctor asked if she was making a will. She replied, NO! I am making a list of all the people I am going to bite! Please don’t be like the lady in this story!
In the evening, after the watermelon was cool, my father would cut it and serve us until our bellies were full!

Watch out for the root of bitterness, unlike the watermelon, it can be harmful to you and the loved ones you are serving.

Original Article Source - http://www.achatandchew.com/?p=268 

The Prism of Ethics in the Workplace and Its Contributions to Workplace Violence

By Calvin Daniels

The adopted culture within today's workplace contributes to the frequency of Workplace Violence incidences that occur. 'Applied Ethics' in the workplace contributes to the development of this culture. Statistics have outlined that insider threats cause the majority of Workplace Violence incidents. These insiders are familiar with operational practices and are familiar with security deficiencies. The risks associated with these deficiencies (physical or procedural) and the will of an employee to take action to solve a dispute creates unsafe working environments.

When insiders are familiar with the 'lay of the land' it makes it hard for security personnel to identify potential threats and identify risk exposure. In order for security personnel to identify potential threats and exposure they must identify the root problem(s) associated with Workplace Violence. The root problem that is often overlooked is 'Applied Ethics' and its influence on the organizational culture. Marion-Webster dictionary defines ethics as "the discipline dealing with what is good and bad and with the moral duty and obligation." If a group of governing security bodies were evaluated and ask a question about 'Applied Ethics' the majority of these organizations would outline that their organizational practices are in fact 'ethical' and that the majority of workplace violence issues are caused by bad hires. These organizations may never identify that there could be an even bigger issue associated with violence in the workplace that is linked to 'Organizational Agents' and the management practices that these agents implement to meet organizational goals.

The U.S. Department of Labor defines Workplace Violence as "any act or threat of physical violence, harassment, intimidation or other threatening disruptive behavior that occurs at the work site." Statistical evaluations have also outlined that Workplace Violence is a major contributor to homicides within the workplace and that at least 2 million workers file reports of being abused in the workplace every year. These statistics are gathered from reported incidents but when you identify the economical factors associated with the need to 'remain employed' the statistics of abuse may be even higher if employees choose not to report abuse. The following questions can be asked: How much of bad ethical practices do employees tolerate and do not report incidences? How are bad ethical practices putting your organizations at risk?

On the national and state levels there seems to be very little laws that fall outside of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Occupational Safety and Health Act (OSHA) of 1970 that provide protection to employees from Workplace Violence. Organizations are given the option to develop sound policies and procedures in an effort to aid the prevention process of Workplace Violence. These policies and procedures rely primarily on effective communication; which in some large organizations can be blurred as information is distributed. Large organizations have a hard time policing these policies and procedures due to decentralization; and often rely on its agents who may be major contributors to Workplace Violence incidents. This often creates the perpetrator to victim conversion which puts the original perpetrator and other innocent victims at risk.

Effective policies and procedures created to deal with the threats of Workplace Violence are the key to recognition and prevention. Different levels of an organization aid the publication and promotion process. These same levels of the organization can implement practices that will influence 'Applied Ethics' and that can make positive contributions to the organizations culture.

Human Resources

1. Ensure that detailed policies and procedures are in place and enforce publication.

2. Measure organizational culture by conducting climate surveys and evaluating turnover rates.

3. Promote open door policy and protect employees who report different forms of Workplace Violence.

4. Evaluate the managerial practices of all personnel who have been designated as 'Organizational Agents'.

5. Promote non-bias investigations.

6. Discourage the cronyism method of management.

Line Management

1. Evaluate and promote organizational policies.

2. Provide consistent training on workplace violence to managers.

3. Promote team building.

4. Meritoriously promote personnel vice promoting through attrition.

5. When Workplace Violence incidences occur ensure that details of the incident are referred to proper management levels and Human Resources for mitigation.

Victims

1. Strive to be an above average employee.

2. Identify current organizational policies.

3. Notify potential perpetrators through the use of Human Resource mediation; placing perpetrators on notice.

4. Document incidences.

5. Seek legal action.

Security Personnel

1. Ensure that there is a policy in place.

2. Conduct non-bias investigations.

3. Gather information from Human Resources and Line Managers on incidents; make recommendations.

4. Foster a relationship with employees.

5. Inform top-level management of risk and threat levels.

6. Protect information that outlines physical vulnerabilities.

Top Level Management

In an effort to prevent insider threats and the contribution that these threats make towards Workplace Violence, organizations need to be founded on an Ethical Prism. This prism consists of an organization's four walls, ceiling (tolerance level) and floor (accountability). The key elements that are needed to foster positive ethical prisms and reduce risk associated with Workplace Violence are:

Accountability - Hold Violators Accountable no matter what position they hold

Tolerance - "0" Tolerance

Transparency - Deploy a checks and balance system

Training - Provide recurring training applications

Non-Bias Practices - Treat Everyone Equal

Team Building - Ensure that the organization promotes team building

Ethical practices foster the organizational culture that exists within the workforce. Sometimes these cultures stray away from the true meaning of 'Applied Ethics' and can cause an increase in Workplace Violence incidents. Organizational awareness can be raised by having sound policies and procedures in place and by promoting these policies and procedures. Insiders pose the largest threats to organizations because they are familiar with the Physical Protection System in place. In an effort to reduce the risk associated with Workplace Violence security personnel must implement security policies that are supported by ethical practices and must operate within a culture that is ethical. Ethical practices reduce the risks associated with deficiencies within Physical Protection System.

Some organizations may not have the staff or expertise required to aid Workplace Violence prevention efforts. Fortunately, there are multiple information sources that are available. Organizations such as the International Association of Professional Security Consultants (IAPSC) and multiple Human Resource consulting firms can help organizations develop policies that are beneficial to prevention. These organizations may also help reduce the risk associated with premise liability lawsuits that are normally the result of Workplace Violence incidents.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Calvin_Daniels
http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Prism-of-Ethics-in-the-Workplace-and-Its-Contributions-to-Workplace-Violence&id=8711178

Share Your Thoughts...

What are your thoughts on the Ebola Virus?

Can novels and films make us better people?

Michael Valdez Moses

The study of philosophy, history, the classics, and most particularly literature and film, offers us an opportunity to learn what it means to be free and responsible individuals in a modern society and allows us to ask fundamental questions: What is the relationship between freedom and justice? What moral responsibilities does a free individual have toward other members of society? What is the difference between individual liberty and mere license?...


http://kenan.ethics.duke.edu/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/GQ-Valdez-Moses.pdf

If the Shoe Fits, Wear It… What If It Doesn’t Fit?

by achatandchew

Article can be found at - http://www.achatandchew.com/?p=239

We say “If the shoe fits, wear it”, but what happens if it doesn’t fit?



Shoes were created to protect our feet from the natural elements. It is essential that they are comfortable while we are doing our various activities. However, life can be unbearable and painful if they don’t fit well. It is the same scenario, when wearing “the shoes of life” that don’t fit.

A few years ago, I bought my first pair of cowboy boots and I was so proud of them. Wearing them the first couple of weeks was kind of painful because they were a bit too small. I have wide feet and the boots were a regular width. I was hoping they would eventually begin to feel better, but the pain got worse. I tried different methods of stretching them, but nothing worked; they just didn’t fit. I was a single father with three children and buying another pair of boots was not in the budget. So, I kept on wearing them as painful as they were. In the meantime, a “corn” developed on my toe. Corns will form on one’s toe(s) from wearing shoes to small. I was finally reduced to wearing my cherished boots only one or two days a week, then, to not wearing them at all. It was just too painful!

In life, what do we do when we are wearing shoes that don’t fit? Perhaps, that physically or emotionally abusive relationship you are in is the “shoe that doesn’t fit”. It’s painful, but you are still trying to wear it. You deserve better.  Seek help. Get some counseling and allow time to heal; go find yourself a partner that will love and respect you. Then wear those “shoes” that will now “fit”, with style; and keep them polished!



What about the people you associate with? You are trying to better yourself. You have visions and dreams; you want to finish school or go back to school, and your friends just want to hang out and party. That “shoe is not fitting”! Go find some new friends that have similar goals and are willing to do what it takes to accomplish them.

Or that dead-end job. It’s painful to train others for the promotion you should have gotten. That “shoe does not fit”. Don’t get bitter, get better. Take appropriate steps to show you can be a leader; volunteer for extra projects while you look for another job. When you find it, give the required notice and leave in style, thanking them for the experience and go wear your brand new shoes.

Do you own a pair of worn shoes–there is nothing like them? For they have become so comfortable. Through the years, your feet have molded and shaped them to the perfect fit. Sort of like a spouse, the two of you have been together so long that you have been told you resemble each other. Or you begin a sentence, and he/she finishes it. You love and care for them so much, even with their “perfect imperfections”, you are joined together. Now that’s a “shoe that fits”. Keep wearing them.   Well done and you have kept the relationship polished.

I have learned the art of buying cowboy boots. I now own 11 pairs and they all fit well. No more walking uncomfortably; no pain and definitely no more “corns”! Find what shoes fit in your life, your faith, your hoppy, your friends, and your family. Then wear them! Keep them polished and live life to the fullest.

On another note, there may be times when we need to wear a pair of shoes that don’t necessary fit, but it’s only for a short time or short distance. It’s when we walk a mile in other’s shoes, we then may be able to understand and perhaps help them find a pair of shoes that fit.

Article can be found at - http://www.achatandchew.com/?p=239

© Copyright 2014 Glen Warren/Fathers Forever All Rights Reserved

This Inspiring Father's Story Might Take Your Breath Away

By Joe Sottile

I was going to title this true story "Welcome Bigfoot Friends" but then only Bigfoot fans would probably read it. And, if you don't read this, you would miss out on meeting a father who marches to a different drummer, while making an incredible difference in the life of his son.

Nonetheless, here's what you should know about me. I strive to be a Welcome Ambassador to Everyone I meet. I know that's a tall order. I sort of act like a Walmart greeter on steroids. I smile, open doors, as I shop, make positive comments about team logos that I see total strangers wearing. When I see acquaintances and former co-workers in the wilds of the frozen food section of the supermarket. I am a people person.

But what's this story got to do with Bigfoot, a large hairy-ape like creature between 6.6-9.8 feet tall weighing over 500 pounds, covered with brown or reddish hair? He's a legend hiding in the forest somewhere. Over the years there have been many eyewitness reports about him, large footprint tracks of him, handheld film recordings, audio recordings, blood and hair samples. There also have been many hoaxes and pranks related to finding Bigfoot in the wilds. But where there is smoke there usually is fire.

Stage set. Now I can proceed with my encounter.

I was waiting for the garage door repairman to fix or replace the runner on my garage door. My wife accidentally caught it backing up the car. I tried to fix the metal runner, but I crinkled the bend worse, making it almost unrepairable.

As the repairman ambled out of the truck, I opened the garage door and wondered if he would get the job done without installing expensive and new runners. He had jeans, and a dusty bulging black T-shirt. No uniform. No Mr. Goodwrench-look. He looked like a mountain man or a World Federation Wrestler. I know first impressions aren't always correct, yet I wasn't impressed.

I said hello and welcomed him to my garage and my problem, adding these works "I decided to get an expert to help me."

He said, "I am not an expert in this area, but I have fixed a number of doors like this."

He wrestled with the bent runner and after quite a struggle he bent it back to working form, and shot some oil into the little revolving wheels. He told me that I was all set, good as new.

I asked him if he wanted a bottle of cold water. He said that he had some in the truck.

I wondered what made this man tick; in other words, what he cared about beside his job. I thought that I might be surprised. I was already totally wrong about my first impression.

I asked, "So what do you like to do for fun?"

He eyes arched upward recalling a fun scene and he said, "I hunt for Bigfoot with my son in the mountains."

As my mouth dropped open, I asked "Do you believe in him?"

He answered, "Well, we have fun looking for him. It's an adventure. We don't want to hurt him, just hangout. Maybe take a few photos. We bring fruit, nuts, and cold water to share with him. If he doesn't show up, we eat the goodies ourselves. My son, Ryan, loves hiking and the outdoors."

"How old is your son?"

"Well, he's 12, but he has the mental age of 5. Ryan has a brain disorder. He literally has problems doing things. The nerve endings in his body are mixed up. He has to think things through to do normal things. But he has been getting better and better. That's what counts. And he loves talking about Bigfoot, looking at pictures of Bigfoot, and learning about big animals. We frequently read together. I work two jobs so that I have enough money to get the best help for him."

Tears circled in my eyes. I wrote him a check for his services, and said "Wait a second, I have a present for him, and I ran upstairs to get a copy of the poetry book Waiting to See the Principal and Other Poems.

I signed the paperback for Ryan and I said, "There are lots of lines that are repeated in my poems. Ryan and you will have fun repeating them. After awhile both of you will have them memorized which makes it even more fun to read."

"Yes, he will love this book! And the pictures in it are funny too-something like Shel Silverstein's books. Ryan loves all of his books. Thanks so much. I gotta get back on the road. Thanks again."

"By the way, does Ryan really believe in the existence of Bigfoot?"

"OH, YEAH! He says Bigfoot is just a good hider."

And I said to myself: we are all good hiders unless the right questions are asked by an interested person.

Joe Sottile is a former teacher. Now as a grandfather of five awesome kids, he writes books for kids to delight and inspire them. He wants all kids to live happy and purposeful lives. He wrote an eBook encouraging kids to do just that called: l01 SECRETS! A Backpack of Inspiration and Hope for Tweens, http://booklocker.com/books/6026.html. It's his legacy to his grandchildren and all the kids which never had a chance to sit in his magical classroom. Why not give this book a try? Read it with your tween or young teen. It will make both of your lives better.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joe_Sottile
http://EzineArticles.com/?This-Inspiring-Fathers-Story-Might-Take-Your-Breath-Away&id=8632786

Ebola: How Dangerous Has It Gotten? What Are Your Thoughts?

Ethical Question: What are your thoughts on bringing citizens back stateside who have Ebola?

Check out this article on Ebola - http://www.bu.edu/today/2014/battling-ebola-the-ethical-issues/

A Good Father Is Often a Three Letter Word

By William Peak

In the last year or so I have noticed my empathy trait awakening. Why this is happening, I haven't a clue. But I'll tell you this... it's taking watching movies to a whole new level.

The other night I saw one about a guy whose wife had recently died. As he was trying to adjust to not having her around, he soon realized, among other things, she had been the glue that kept his family together.

It wasn't that he loved his kids any less than she... he simply viewed his role in the family as the provider, thus spending most of his time and energy with his job. He felt this allowed his wife the time to stay home to nurture their four children. The perfect family scenario he thought. Well... maybe it wasn't so perfect after all.

He only wanted what all fathers want for their kids... the very best. So as they were growing up, he pushed them when he should have been guiding. The problem was he pushed in his direction... not theirs... a mistake I believe many of us dads make. And it seems his expectations were much higher than any of them could ever deliver.

As the story unfolds, he begins reaching out to his now grown kids who are scattered all over the country. As he contacts them, they each embellish their situations a bit leading him to believe they are much better off than they really were. His daughter... "a leading actress on Broadway" was actually struggling just to get a role. His son... "conductor of an accomplished orchestra" in fact played the tympani... and so on. After all, they didn't want to disappoint dear old dad.

With dad never keeping up with personal contact... as I said, he left that up to his wife... coupled with him living so far away, it was relatively simple for them to pull off their masquerades.

As he visits them one by one and finds out their real stories, he sadly realizes he doesn't even know his own kids. In fact, one of his sons whom he thought was a successful artist, was strung out on drugs and so depressed with the passing of his mother, he commits suicide. It's a pretty heavy story.

The movie finishes on an up note with dad reuniting his family and making things right.

As I mentioned earlier about my new found empathy trait, well... every scene was pulling emotions out of me I didn't realize I was storing. The truth is, I'm nothing like the father portrayed in the movie... at least, I hope not. Nevertheless, I could relate to the fact that no matter how hard we try to best raise our family, it's seen and felt from many different points of view which can manifest in unexpected ways.

As I watch my kids' lives play out... struggling at times as we all do, I sometimes find myself second guessing various decisions I made as a father... wondering if somehow I could have made things better for them.

I suppose that's nothing more than a father's Monday morning quarterbacking. But on the other hand... there would be nothing sadder than waking up alone one morning, realizing that while being so wrapped up in the role of a father, I totally missed out on being a dad.

Tomorrow I'm going to watch "Talladega Nights."

I am currently in my Early 60's and have been happily married to the same fine woman for 38 years. I have a doctorate in raising six children of which I have been practicing for the past 32 years. Correction: we have been practicing for the past 32 years. I tell you from experience, the process of raising six children teaches you more about life than all the books in any library that's been written on the subject. Thus, the inspiration for my writings. Come join the conversation @ http://www.dadswisdoms.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=William_Peak
http://EzineArticles.com/?A-Good-Father-Is-Often-a-Three-Letter-Word&id=8638624

Being Happy Is A Life Style For Success

By Donna Devane

Being happy is more than just something always happening to feel good about, it's a choice. The happiness mindset is determined by giving meaning only to those situations that please and thrill. The world is full of movies to watch, drama is everywhere begging for attention. Rather than getting emotionally caught up in the unwanted experiences of life, make a choice to stay focused on happy.

Every situation is brought into form through choices of thought, emotional attachment and actions. Staying alert to the meaning being given in each situation allows a transition from fear and worry into acknowledgment and new focus. Let what is being observed point out what is desired. In the instance of lack of money realize, the abundance of money is there also, waiting to be focused on and brought into the present moment. Where any undesired situation exists the desired experience is there waiting to be embraced.

This is the mindset of happiness, always noticing the wanted or desired experience. What is passionately held as truth and reality continues, whereas, releasing the belief system of what is seen is all there is, allows the next experience to take shape. No battles take place between a movie and the watcher of the movie. The observer decides to engage emotionally or not, taking from the movie those ideas that match the personal filter/belief of the observer.

Once the filter or belief is recognized it is easy to take steps in a new direction of allowing different thoughts to be possible. As long as thoughts or beliefs are held as rigid dogma very little changes in experience. However, when one allows that there are other possibilities to be interacted with and the focus is kept on desired thoughts, feelings, actions and observations, a new reflection shows up to be interacted with.

Notice the situation that is presently being experienced, allow it to offer the other side of the coin, the desired experience. Where there is lack there is also abundance. Embrace the abundance even while the experience is lack. Just as the whole life of an oak tree is contained within the acorn, the whole experience desired is always contained in the thought or seed of the desire. Stay in the energy of that desire, happy, accepting, grateful and celebratory. This is the way of happiness that leads to success. Happiness mindset observes what is and the next what is all at the same time, knowing that the interaction of passion with the desired experience brings it into physical form. Happiness is the way of success.

Donna DeVane is author of several books on thriving and living a life that satisfies mind/body/soul. She also hosts several radio shows where she teaches these principles with real how to stories and examples. To find out more about Donna's work learn how to thrive in your own life visit her website. Http://www.DonnaDeVane.org

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Donna_Devane
http://EzineArticles.com/?Being-Happy-Is-A-Life-Style-For-Success&id=8639122

How Do I Move On When My Heart Remains Stuck

By Jay Jhonson

I chose the title 'How Do I Move On' because I can't tell you the countless times I've personally searched that title, hoping beyond hopes I'd find the answer.

• What's 'EXPECTED' Of Us And How That 'Fits' Into Our Lives

You know when your emotions and feelings are adamant on remaining on the same path, never a different route? It can be an irritatingly frustrating thing to have to live with.

Expectations:

- School.

- Uni.

- Job.

- Marriage.

- House.

- Kids.

- Midlife Crisis; which can be in the form of cheating, doing outrageous things which isn't in line with the person's normal character, ditching the old routine/life for a new one or a whole number of other things that a person might do.

- Retirement.

- Coffin Shopping.

- Or something along those lines...

Reality: (mine)

- School.

- Relocating.

- School again.

- Loss.

- Hospital.

- Job.

- Slight rebellious phase.

- Love.

- Heartbreak.

- Humiliation.

- Limbo.

- Soul searching >?

*sigh* I used to think life would become easier. When I was little I used to shut my eyes so tightly wishing I'd grow up already and be able to do all the' fun things' that only 'big people' seemed to be allowed to do. Little did I know.

I experienced living without my folks from a young age at which time I also moved country, experienced being slightly mentally and physically abused by a guardian(though thank gosh not in a sexual way), failing school (and all the 'self' issues that came with it), handling loss, being temporarily physically challenged and having to grow up a little faster then I'd anticipated. (though how many of us have had that eh?!)

• The Epiphany

Now despite everything I've been through, nothing could have prepared me for falling in love and the intensities that come with it. Maggie, a fellow blogger posted an article on the different stages of heartbreak. By the end of reading and listening to it all, I was balling my eyes out like crazy. I just couldn't stop crying. It touched me to my core.

The song: Youth by Daughter, described Exactly how I feel. And you know what? I had NO CLUE THAT'S HOW I FELT! It wasn't until listening to it and hailstones were raining down my face as a I cried my eyes out did I realise something that I'd hidden so deep within myself that I actually forgot that it was there.

I started writing to help get things off my chest and not keep everything so bottled up inside as I've always done and genuinely try changing for the better. So yes, I write and advise both my readers and myself.

You know what I realised?

That I've been telling myself: Yeah, I'm 'OK'. I may not be perfect yet I'm doing fine, I really am. I'm waking up in the morning, eating, laughing, working and setting new goals etc.. so that Must mean I'm fine right?!

Guess what though? It's all Bullsh*t!

Why?!

Because I'm sharing the surface of what I'm feeling yet completely not only suppressing, but completely ignoring how I really feel way deep down inside my heart.

I Locked up the very core of my heart and swallowed the key (now that I think about it, I actually remember a time ago mentally thinking that I'm going to close and lock that part of my heart and never face or unlock it ever again. Even I had forgotten about that).

I know a lot of the positive enforcement steps, books and rules to a better life and really try to enforce it for myself. You know what though?I have 'Just' realised why I find them boring and why they all sound the same to me... it's because they lack the most essential ingredient to anything that can be considered a success. They lack: Heart.

And I'm reminded yet again why I started my blog in the 1st place. In the hope that I can add a little of that important ingredient into my daily life and impart it to my readers, too. Heart. So many things in life nowadays are void of the most important thing that we have a hard time living without as human beings.

I consciously know that I won't go far in life until I truly open up my heart. I constantly talk about truly opening up yet I didn't even realise that I hadn't been doing so myself, until I heard 'Youth' and the reality to how I'm really feeling deep down, came crashing down around me!

• Why Despite Everything, I ' Couldn't' And ' Wouldn't' Divulge My All

Would you like to know why I've been subconsciously denying my emotions and how I feel? Because somewhere inside me is terrified that I'll be 'Judged'. If 'Feelings' are involuntary then why do we feel so scared to 'Feel' them? Shouldn't they be part of us since they're out of our control? I doubt I'm the only one on earth who feels this way.

So yes. In a judgmental society I Do feel sh*t scared about displaying my (acceptable) inner thoughts and feelings.

I'll give you an example: The other day I was sitting in the living room of a best friends' house, chilling. We got up, went into the kitchen to make some popcorn then watch a movie and she goes; Jay, why don't you 'put yourself out there' and get a many already (something down those lines).

Now she'd always reiterate this every now & then and I'd smile and shrug, not really wishing to talk about it. Now whenever she'd say this, on the surface I'd try & act like I don't care whereas on the inside I'd be screaming: I WANT TO though I don't know how to! Part of me is still very much hung up on the man I love and who left! Though that's the case, I still want to learn to love again nor do I want to die alone! I wish for it so badly that not a day goes by that I don't wish for it!

Would I ever tell her that? Nope.

As we're in the kitchen:

- Her: You're still into that guy you loved.

- Me: (automatic reaction) NO! Not really..

- Her: *smirk* We've been friends for almost five years now and you've loved him since I met you.

- Me: (By now I interpret that; as her saying, seriously! Move the hell on already, in other words) *smile* silence (in my mind I'm wishing she knew what was going through my head right now)

Then that's the end of that (We're close enough for her to know not to press me on things I don't want to talk about which I'm doubly grateful for). That's what I mean by 'judgments' and 'expectations' whether intentional or unintentional.

I mean isn't that what's expected? To have moved on already? Isn't that part of the norm? Do (insert: *list of things) to move on and get over someone? And if you don't then there is something 'wrong' with you? and if I do them and I still don't move on then that's even worst and now I have 'she-has-unhealthy-attachments-to-people syndrome'?

Well what happens when it Doesn't turn out that way? Isn't it understandable if the person ends up 'closing off' in some way or another? I don't know about you, that's what's happened to me.

To be honest here, no one really wants to listen to someone go on&on about the same'ol thing. After all who'd want to continuously be around that kind of negative energy? Not many, which is completely reasonable.

• The Ugly Truth About How I Sometimes 'See Myself'

You see, I feel abnormal about how I feel. That my feelings haven't changed that much about the person who I ' shouldn't' still harbor feelings for.( Yes I know that we have the right to feel what we do and I love and adore every single bit of advice that I get on that. After all where would we be without reminders?)

It still doesn't change how I Do feel. Now just because I feel this way doesn't mean that I AM what I feel. I just feel it. I'm 'in the know' about just how extraordinary we are as people.

Losing my 'Love' and have him tell me that 'he wasn't good for me' (which is the 'it isn't you, it's me card which actually translates: it isn't me, it's you!) has me feeling like an utter & complete failure. Whenever I hear his name my heart feels like it continuously dies all over again and I get irregular yet consistent boots of dread and sadness at times yet just force myself to push it away and weather it out until it passes.I made a mistake that I can never take back. A mistake that I was aware was a 'mistake' at the time. I Do know that it needn't be why he left. The thing is that I genuinely believed I was 'OK' until i realised that the truth is that...

I Feel:

- Gross.

- Not/Never good enough.

- Disgusting.

- Stupid.

- Unappealing.

- Incapable.

- Untrustworthy.

- Unwanted.

- Rejected.

- Non-existent.

- Un-important.

- Unnecessary.

- And as though my 'Love' wasn't good enough nor worth it.

I was able to be replaced without even a backward glance and I don't know if he ever loved me. Or whether he'll even remember my existence. Sometimes I feel surprised that he even remembers my name. After all I was easy to discard. I know I shouldn't care, yet part of me all of me does.

• Acknowledging Is Better Then Suppressing Just How Effed Up I Feel

Feelings can't be controlled so I can't blame him or myself for anything. He didn't Do anything To me. Doing something To someone is literally physically beating someone, physically forcing them to do something or anything down those lines. Otherwise despite what we may feel, we're the ones entirely responsible for what goes on inside our bodies, minds, hearts & all. Sometimes it's just 'easier' having someone to 'blame'.

So how Can I blame him for anything? He wanted to be with his 'one' who was never me... and that's something I live with and hope I will get over some day.

I'm even a little grateful he left me. It would have been worst if I'd continued loving and remaining loyal to him when he didn't feel the same about me. This is better right?!

I can't shake the shame I feel about all this. It eats me up. I'm silently, internally struggling with this every day. Denying it doesn't eradicate its existence unfortunately, so there you have it.

I think that, that's why I don't like seeing lists on 'how to move on' and 'heal' etc... whenever I read them It's as though I've read them all. Also because they aren't for 'everyone'. I prefer 'options and ideas' instead of a 'set list' for any given thing. Each of us are individually different, that's why I love knowing that there's a separate technique for everyone.

Thanks for reading.

Oh yeah and about that title: I'm still searching...

I hope you enjoyed my article and it helped you. If you're a little fed up of stereotypes and would like to read a little substance, then; Check out my blog at http://www.jayjhonson.com

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What's Your Opinion?

Is it considered stealing to take pens from a bank? What about extra napkins from a fast-food restaurant?

What are you thoughts?

If something at a yard sale is far more valuable than the posted price, do I have to let the seller know?

The Road to Amazon's Bestseller List Is Paved With Fake Reviews

by Bertis Brenford

When shopping for products online, many turn to retail giant Amazon.com for recommendations, but the website's reputation as a trustworthy source has been tarnished recently. Readers of Forbes, The New York Times, Huffington Post or the Consumerist have read multiple reports on the dirty secrets Amazon harbors. With fake book reviews, paid product reviews and other nasty tricks used by unscrupulous vendors on the website, how can a consumer trust the online retailer?

According to Bing Liu, a computer science professor at the University of Illinois at Chicago, Amazon sellers are buying reviews because it is the cheapest way of marketing and it is very effective, since customers believe that they are reading authentic reviews.

Under the FTC's rules, when a reviewer benefits from posting a review in any way, they must clearly say so. This includes getting paid, being an owner or employee of the business and profiting from the sales generated by the review, getting free or discounted products for the review and more. That has gotten several companies in trouble so far, but for every company they catch in the act, there are many others who fly under the FTC's radar.

We ran an experiment to see what type of companies indulged the most in fake review writing on Amazon.com. Within the Health and Personal Care category only, we found dozens of vendors using deceitful practices, selling fake male enhancement pills, weightloss products, study aid supplements and more to unsuspecting consumers.

We bought several of these supposed health improvement products, each of which had hundreds if not thousands of positive reviews. Upon contacting Amazon to report over two dozen obvious fake reviews, complaints were ignored, and the fake reviews stayed on the website. What could be the reason?

It is not in Amazon's best interest to take down reviews that sell products, even if dubious in nature, because every sale brings much needed commissions. Wall Street made it all too clear recently that profit expectations for the retail giant remain sky high and the company knows that delivering on them will be increasingly hard. If keeping the share price high means deceiving the customer, be it.

The original king of Amazon fake reviews was VIP Deals, a now defunct company that found a surefire way of ranking products on top of the bestseller list. According to an article published in The New York Times titled "For $2 a Star, an Online Retailer Gets 5-Star Product Reviews," companies using VIP Deals' promotional services stooped as low as offering a refund to every single one of their customers in exchange for a 5* review. What is review tampering, if not that? They had amassed over 5,000 reviews for various products before the scheme came to an end after The New York Times article was published.

Recently a new disciple of VIP Deals appeared on Amazon. Ubervita, a company trying to break into the supplement industry using the same methods that VIP Deals used, has been offering customers full refunds in exchange for 5-star reviews. Ubervita has also posted hundreds of their own reviews from accounts that wrote exclusively abut Ubervita products. In a matter of months they have amassed over 1,700 reviews for their first product, W700 Thermogenic Hypermetabolizer, and they recently started getting hundreds of reviews for 4 of their other products too.

Ubervita has perfected the fake review scheme though, we found. Upon ordering their W700 fat burner, we received a bottle of mystery pills. There were no ingredients or instructions on the bottle other than to take the "proprietary blend" once a day. As expected, we saw no improvement after taking the product, except for the initial caffeine kick that wore off in four days. Three weeks after ordering the product, we received a postcard in the mail, asking for a review and promising a free bottle of UberSurge, in exchange. We were instructed to send an email to surge@ubervita.com to "collect our free bottle."

We emailed the company and their automatic response made it all too clear that a 5-star review was expected. They stated in bold, red letters that "If your experience was anything less than 5-star, PLEASE let us know how we can make it better. Merchants such as Amazon see 4 and 3 star reviews as the equivalent of a negative for us online." This is obviously not true, and a trick Ubervita used to get a portion of their 5-star reviews. As some commenters on the product's page stated, they would not have given W700 a 5-star rating if it weren't for the incentive, but most omitted that fact from their reviews.

Amazon's rules state that incentivized fake reviews are not allowed, and that if a reviewer receives compensation in exchange for reviews they must say so. Ubervita has several hundred reviews that do not state that they were offered free product explicitly in exchange for fake 5-star ratings. There are threads about Ubervita's suspiciously huge number of similar sounding 5-star reviews on Amazon and other websites. Yet, Amazon has done nothing to stop the inflow of 30 or more fake reviews a day for W700.

This begs the question: how can UberVita, a fly-by-night company with no history in the weightloss industry successfully fool consumers into buying a useless product under Amazon's nose, when online shoppers are reporting daily what is happening? Is Amazon purposely ignoring the issue to avoid hurting its own bottomline?

Perhaps one day the growing backlash over fake reviews will force Amazon to put customer satisfaction above profits obtained through questionable standards just to live up to analyst expectations on Wall Street. It may happen once the FTC fines a few more of Amazon's deceitful vendors for their marketing practices. No one knows when the next crackdown on the supplement industry will happen. Until then, Amazon customers beware; the online store does not seem to care about your well-being, only their own profits.

http://goarticles.com/article/The-Road-to-Amazon-s-Bestseller-List-Is-Paved-With-Fake-Reviews/9075733/

Ponzi Schemes - How to Easily Recognize One

By Meini Listanti

Charles Ponzi is infamous for scamming people. It is for this reason that fake schemes are often named after him. Ponzi would collect money from individuals in the name of investing in his own business. He would then pay investors high interest payments using the money obtained from new investors.

This type of investment fraud was one of the first and possibly due to its simplicity soon gained immense popularity with scammers.

Today, there are many variations of the Ponzi schemes, but they can be pretty hard to identify. Many people have fallen victim to these financial entrapments. The schemes lead to huge financial losses to the unsuspecting interested investors.

This makes it very important to be skeptical about any investment opportunity that is being sold to you. This should include anything that a family member or friend is trying to get you into. When you are cautious enough to conduct a research, you will be sure about what exactly you are betting your money on. A few steps can help you in recognizing and avoiding a Ponzi scheme.

Check out Credentials

A background check of the individual approaching you with the investment idea is paramount in identifying a Ponzi scheme. You can look up the company details including registration and the years of existence. Brokers usually have business numbers and you can check them to see their records. It is a simple way to avoid being trapped by fraudulent schemes.

Use an Attorney

A contract is the most important document in any transaction or agreement. Since you might not be very familiar with everything entailing a contract, an attorney will help with the evaluation. It is important to avoid any transaction until your attorney has analyzed the contracts and given you the go ahead. A good attorney will pick anything fishy from the deal saving you lots of disappointments.

Be Cautious with Custodians

A broker who maintains investment accounts is referred to as a custodian. In a case where you are asked to direct a cheque in his name, you can be reasonably assured that something is wrong with the deal. A good deal will require you to direct a cheque to the rightful and legitimate custodial firm and not an individual.

Understand the Investment

Conmen (and women) are very clever with their words and investment explanations. You therefore need to be very careful in understanding the investment and how it works. If it appears too complicated for you to understand or if you feel it is being explained in a rush, then it could be a fake. You should only hand your money over when you are completely sure about the investment and how it will work for you.

Trust your Instincts

As soon as you feel uncomfortable about an investment idea being sold to you, walk away. When you feel something is wrong, then chances are that something is truly wrong. Many people fall victims to the Ponzi schemes for ignoring their first instincts. Always trust your gut feeling when making an investment.

Indonesia Private Investigation Agency (IPIA - http://indonesiadetective.com/ ) and our sister agency Bali Eye Private Investigation Agency (BEPIA - http://balidetective.com/ ) are fully registered agencies offering investigation services to the private and business sectors throughout Indonesia and South East Asia.

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Assertive Women: Are YOU Willing to Be One?

By Loral Lee Portenier, PhD

Bitch or doormat. That covers a lot of territory. Where does assertiveness lie on this continuum?

Many times assertiveness is confused with aggressiveness. A dog that growls a warning when being played with too roughly is being assertive, while one that attacks with no apparent cause or warning is being aggressive. Similarly, an assertive woman will give warning when her boundaries are being crossed (and finally walk away or bite if necessary), while an aggressive woman will pick fights and belittle or demean others without warning.

Most of us tend to avoid aggressive people of either gender. Consequently, a lot of women would rather be too sweet than too aggressive. Relationships are very important to our wellbeing and we may have a tendency to be too sweet, to give too much, to set too few limits in order to avoid the risk of alienating people.

A woman I once knew did that. From where to eat on a date to what type of car she should drive, this woman allowed her husband to "be the man" in the mistaken notion that she was making him feel needed and strong. It backfired. Her husband lost all respect for her and began treating her with contempt that edged into abuse. After their divorce, he got involved with a woman who knew what she wanted and didn't hesitate to let him know her preferences, nor hesitate to growl at him if he stepped over the line. He loved it. Finally he had found a woman who was willing to push back when he tried to push her too far. His respect for her grew, and with that respect, his passion and fascination.

Weak men want weak women. Vacuous doormats. But strong men want women who won't let themselves be treated disrespectfully. Who know their own minds and are willing to ask for what they want, yet are also willing to be flexible and gracious when it's needed. A strong man realizes that a woman who is capable of taking care of herself and seeing that her needs are met is also capable of having his back when the chips are down. If she can be relied on to be assertive and not allow herself to be a chokingly sweet little doormat, then he knows she is strong enough to be there for him when the world is baying at his heels and he needs succor and support.

Therefore, it is in your best interests to become adept at the skill of assertiveness. Be the gracious queen, not the wicked witch nor the scullery maid. And if that is too strong for him, then he is too weak for you.

Dr. Loral Lee Portenier, transformational psychologist and coach, works with women who are tired, hurting, or confused to help them reclaim their power, renew their passion, and revive their purpose for living. She teaches people how to turn life transitions into transformations instead of disasters as they learn how to live their dreams. Discover more about how she can help you at http://SacredDreamsCoaching.com.

Request your complimentary Discovery Session now! Soaring@SacredDreamsCoaching.com.

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Does Money Provide Personal Contentment?

By Alice Stella Musoke

Imagine you are a billionaire and have everything that money can buy... big chunks of land, mansions overlooking the sea, the most expensive boats, fancy cars, a personal jet, adventures, even beautiful women... just to mention a few. Does this guarantee personal contentment or true happiness?

It is a fact that people need money to survive. You sell goods and services for money and use it to buy what you want. Without money, there is no trade! The whole world revolves around money and it takes talent and ability to use it well. Money is important and it's for that reason that we strive to get or create jobs that earn us a good income. Hence we can:

1. Meet all our personal expenses, loans and pay taxes.
2. Invest and save it for our own future use or the next generation.
3. Enjoy the basic needs of life and live a healthy life style.
4. Get value and status in society which boosts our self esteem.
5. Save and Change lives, provide education and charity to those in need.

Reasons for uses of money are endless. I have heard many people say that "... with money I am financially secure, confident and content". Yes, you can achieve some amount of happiness butwhen is the money trap so bad that it sucks all personal contentment out of us?

I honour and admire the first female British Prime Minister's, quote as the best answer "... Too much love of money for its own sake"

Did you know that too much love of money can make you lose track of things that meant so much in your life to the extent that you only mind about yourself and money. Yes... it even gets worse when you start seeing people as objects for your own use. At this level, your personal intentions of uses of money have been corrupted instead of the pure and true motives that bring real value to life. So we ask ourselves: Is money all there is?

Let's examine what happens when too much money gets a holdover you:

1. Rarely can you build good and solid relationships because you have devoted all your time to "Almighty Dollar"! Depending on the job you do, devoting less time for family which demands love, care and attention, will personally take away your happiness. You may not have a lasting relationship so you have to strike a balance between the two.

2. You can become a mean and deceptive person when you use money to control and divide people. Take note that when money is used in this way, it becomes an illusion and in the end it exercises power over you... because it is your god. Such people lose out on morality and cease to be men of good character in society. No place for personal contentment in this type of person.

3. You can become a very lonesome person because you lack genuine friends. Now that you have become a millionaire, many will get attracted to your money but not the inner person you really are. Everyone will want to relate and be seen with a rich and glamorous person who the world portrays as a gentleman. But deep in the heart of this millionaire is a person who wants to be seen as normal human being, down to earth individual and with a yearning to be accepted for who he really is. If this millionaire hits the bottom of his finances... where will all his friends be?

That why I love and agree with the famous media proprietor's, Oprah Winfrey when she quotes that " Everyone wants to ride with you in a limo, but what you want is someone who will take a bus with you when the limo breaks down". Goodness wasn't she right!

4. On a global level, too much love of money has caused greed, competition for power and a scramble for more resources in want for more wealth. This has caused suspicions, wars, economic instability and corruption in the world we live in today. Where there is no peace, there cannot be contentment.

5. Unless you exercise daily, adapt to a healthy diet, and keep on renewing your mind often with positive affirmations and sayings, unless you learn to control your mind, those possessing too much money are prone to suffer from anxiety or depression. Why? Because they are guilty of worrying so much about their own safety and that of their money.

In conclusion:

You can banish away all miseries that accompany the possession too much money by learning and practicing the Art of Giving because it is good for your spirit. When you spread your wealth in form of donations to those in need and give back to God His share, you are more content and can enjoy a reduction in taxes. Such people are usually satisfied when they see that their funds have accomplished something or made a difference in someone's life. This inspires their creative ability to make more wealth. A good example is the Microsoft Founder and Billionaire, Mr. Bill Gates doing good for the world. It's not surprising that he is getting wealthier everyday! The Bible scripture principle is correct: "As we give, we receive". The late, Erich Fromm (German Social Psychologist 1900- 1980) still supports the saying that "not he who has much is rich but he who gives much." These pure and true motives are of so much value to personal contentment and true happiness.

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http://EzineArticles.com/?Does-Money-Provide-Personal-Contentment?&id=8185331

I Had Been Touched When I Did Not Invite Such Intimacy in the Workplace

By Selina M Shapland

Have you ever had a manager or a co-worker cross the Employee/Employer line with sexually inappropriate touching?

I have. It was traumatic.

A number of years ago, I worked in a small family run business and I was put into a position where the Manager not only made me feel uncomfortable, but also took me out into the warehouse alone and proceeded to tell me that 'nothing was going to happen,' which, of course freaked me out!

I remember panicking. My breathing became very shallow and I was frantically looking for an escape route.

That day, I was hysterical and could hardly talk, as the Manger not only took me by the hand and led me into the back of the warehouse to 'go through some filing' but he also put his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him when I was helping him in his office.

Quite frankly, I was terrified that day. I needed my job because I had rent to pay and bills but that day was pivotal for me as I knew I could no longer work in that particular culture. That day, I remember running into the tea room crying hysterically and my old Supervisor came in to see what had happened. When I told him that I had been touched by the Manager (who was related to him through family), he said, "oh come on Selina, he was just being friendly."

I was struck dumb at the time. I couldn't believe that this person did not believe me. It was horrible.

I remember sitting at my desk and calling my partner at the time, sobbing to him that I had been touched when I did not invite such intimacy. He told me he was coming to get me. After we hung up, I called my counsellor who very calmly told me that I needed to leave the office immediately and come straight to her office. I was in such a state.

I did as she said and my partner took me to her office where she helped me to calm down and provided me with the support and strategies I needed to make a very big change in my life.

She told me, "Selina, what your Manager has done has crossed the Employee/Employer boundaries and it is totally inappropriate. You must face him and tell him this."

I was terrified. I didn't want to go back, but I knew I would have to return for a couple of weeks to hand in my notice and prepare to be unemployed.

The next day, I did not return to the office. My Manager rang me at home to say that he "was just being friendly and comforting me because he knew that my father had passed away recently." This was one of the most difficult telephone calls I have ever had to be a party to.

I told him, "You have crossed the Employer/Employee boundaries and destroyed any trust that I had in our working relationship. I can no longer work for your organisation and will be handing in my resignation when I return."

He was in shock that what he did was taken so seriously by me and he spent a great deal of time, once I had returned to the organisation for my last weeks, trying to justify his actions.

I remember telling him that he should never touch someone like that because, although he thought he was being friendly and comforting, he does not know what I have been through in my past or how I would react to such and intimate touch. We had to agree to disagree that his touching me was totally and utterly inappropriate. He never once took responsibility for his actions I am sad to say.

At that time in my career, I was shocked and desperate to get out of there. I was that frightened. The business was toxic to me and a number of the men who worked in this environment would stand very close to me, lean over me and look down my top - a lot. As time passed, I went from wearing short skirts and tops with a V-neck to jeans, joggers and cover up tops so that they could not see down my shirt. The culture was sick because it continued to allow this kind of behaviour and I saw management actively look the other way on numerous occasions. It was such bad practice.

In those days I did not have access to an onsite Health and Safety Officer or an Equity/Sexual Harassment organisation. Even if I had access, I was too frightened to approach them regarding what had happened. I endured in silence and even though my counsellor encouraged me to report the incident, I could not bring myself to do so. It was that traumatic for me.

I often wonder how many people in the workforce have undergone sexual harassment and been in a similar situation where they have not been able to get the help they needed for the fear of losing their livelihood? I know that was certainly the case for me.

Leaving that job was the best decision I made, even though I was unemployed and emotionally scared, I was safe. It took at least three months before I was emotionally ready to enter another work environment. I had to heal emotionally and find my professional feet again. I joined a regular Wing Chun Kung Fu club and learned some self-defence. That action did wonders for my self-esteem and I highly recommend martial arts for any woman who wants to feel secure and able to handle herself in these life situations. Just knowing that you can defend yourself is enough to stop a would-be sexual harassment opportunist from making a silly error in touching you. I don't advocate that you take them down, but I do encourage you to be self-protective and self-confident so that they know they have no power over you.

I eventually found myself another role, part-time, in a new office environment. It was a fantastic job!

They had a fabulous culture and I was truly cared for by the people in that environment. I was respected and treated like an integral part of their team. It was a 180 degree shift from what I had been through in the previous role and I will be forever grateful to them for the way they treated me, as they never knew what an awful work environment I had come from.

I have never publicly shared this experience until now, however, I wanted to share what happened to encourage anyone who has been put into a similar traumatic situation to stand tall and to know that this is not your fault. You are awesome and they made an error in personal and professional judgement by crossing a line. So stand up and feel empowered as you have been forged by the fires into steel and you are magnificent.

Never forget how amazing you are!

Selina Shapland is an Australian Artist, Founder of Manage Your Boss, Co-author of Dave - The Bird Dude, a Small Business Reviewer and Podcast Interviewer. She specialises in building positive relationships and encouraging you to live your dreams in life and your career.

Visit her blog: http://manageyourboss.selinashapland.com.au for articles on managing your boss through building your sense of self-esteem and professionalism.

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Are You Really Listening?

By Casey L. Truffo

Many couples already understand that listening to each other is critical to building and maintaining a good relationship. On the other hand, too often they equate "listening" with simply remaining quiet while the other person speaks. In their own head they might be thinking, "Oh, I've heard all this before." Maybe they're busy thinking of the best response before their partner is even done talking. For that matter, their mind might be wandering to plans for a round of golf this weekend. That doesn't make someone a bad person, but if their partner is genuinely trying to convey something that's important to them, or to the relationship - it's a lost opportunity to understand a problem or concern that a partner or spouse really wants to convey. They appear to be listening, but instead they're analyzing, strategizing, or simply hoping whatever concern or frustration they're partner is verbalizing will go away.

So what does it mean to really listen?

• It helps, for starters, to put the shoe on the other foot. When you're talking about something that's on your mind, wouldn't you want to know your partner was truly paying attention to your words, especially if you're expressing a true need, a meaningful thought or just wanting them to understand you a little better? Some people complain that their partner "never talks to them" and fear they never really know what their partner is thinking. If yours wants to talk, try not to take that for granted.

• If the reason you find yourself tuning out is because you feel your partner is being self-absorbed and does not reciprocate by showing interest in your needs, share that thought-but do so carefully and respectfully. Try saying things like, "I really want to hear how you're feeling, but in truth, I'm having a hard time right now too. I want to make sure I have a chance to talk as well." Strike a deal, as silly as it might sound, that you'll take equal turns expressing your thoughts.

• Ask a lot of questions. It not only shows that you're interested, it helps you understand what the other person is really trying to say. Few of us are born as gifted communicators, and asking questions can help your partner clarify their thoughts while helping you understand better. A common therapy tip is to ask your partner if you've heard correctly what they're trying to communicate: "What I think I hear you saying is... " We're not all born as gifted listeners, either, and many misconceptions arise out of simply misunderstanding what the other person is saying. When you repeat back what you think you're hearing, it gives your partner the opportunity to clear up those misconceptions, which can be critical: Maybe you think you're being falsely accused of something, or that your partner has expectations you're not meeting. It's important that you understand exactly what your partner is asking for. Anything less undermines the point of communicating in the first place.

• Try not to "top the story." If your partner needs to talk about a hurtful experience at work or wherever it might be, telling them you've been in similar situations often helps-but sometimes it doesn't. Sensitivity is key. There's a difference between empathy, as in "You know, I felt that way once when... " and dismissal, as in "That happens to everybody (and you should get over it)."

Understand that your partner is experiencing a fresh hurt, frustration or moment of self-doubt. The worst thing you can do is give your partner the impression that his or her problems are "nothing" compared to those of others, including your own.

• Ask what you can do to help. This might be the most important advice I can give. Don't make assumptions. Your partner might not want any help at all; some tend to assume that when someone vents about a problem, it means they're asking for advice, which might not be the case. They just want to share what they're going through.

On the other hand, if the problem involves the relationship itself, you need to listen and respond with as much clarity as possible. Are they expressing something specific they'd like to change about the relationship? Is this something you're willing to do? If not, why? What compromises can you reach?

Don't get me wrong: listening can be hard work, no matter how much we love our partner or spouse. But following these tips can help clarify the discussions and ultimately benefit the relationship in unexpected ways.

If you are considering couples counseling, let the counselors at Orange County Relationship Center help you. Call us today at 949-220-3211 or book your appointment via our online calendar.

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